my father's 10 anniversary since his passing is

coming up and i have been reflecting on their

life as a couple. as parents and as his life as a man.

in my childhood and into my early years of

adulthood,i often felt neglected and un-cherished

by my parents. i wasnt sure they loved me as how

i understood love to be or experienced love. i

often felt like an intruder peeping unceremoniously

and uninvited in their love nest. my father was

alien to me in ways that were deep and fertile.

i feel more closer to him in death than in life.

in their relationship between my parents, i learnt

the extent of passion and the desire of yolking with

another and the possibility of freedom. it is common,

in our lives to live for our children. to concentrate

in their wellbeing and happiness negating the

union that brought them into life.

my parents were complete without us. we were an

added abundance. which would not add, nor remove

what they felt for each other.

as i purposely stive for the sometimes delicate

balance of freedom and interdepence.

their relationship illuminates the fulfilment

and completeness that can come in relationships

where in the partnership there is fullness.

it is saddeneing that we take in other

responsibilities and committments, forgetting

the promise we made to each other and

ultimately, to ourselves. we forget

the initial rush of adrenaline on the first touch.

the quietening of spirit when wrapped up in

post coital bliss. the beauty in the reflection of

your beloved.

in the eve of the celebration of my fathers life

i give thanks for the teachings of love. of the

courage, committment and passion that the union

of my parents embodied and continue to live

organically in me, their child. their love child

concieved in passion, sweetness, deep contemplation

and the joy of the beloved. we chose each other well.