all things pride

{ Etymology: Middle English, from Old English pryde, from prud proud -- more at PROUD
Date: before 12th century 1 : the quality or state of being proud: as a : inordinate self-esteem : CONCEIT b : a reasonable or justifiable self-respect c : delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship }

ofcourse, tryst me. i had no idea there was across the country there was the celebration of the community. from what i hear in dallas, the pride weekend is in september or october. while languishing in the closet back home, i'd give my left foot to join in the celebration. walk in the sweltering heat under a banner of triangle shapes and we shall overcome. perhaps, if i'm lucky, have some hot chic, prefarably dreadlocked wearing sandles and some long flowing skirt with no panties (ok ok ok..lol fantasy #202). interlocked gazing at each other eyes with come hither looks smoldering in the background.

fastforward to almost two years later.

there is no chic. let alone a dreadlocked sister. im not particularily digging the desire to come together with folks with whom i'll be either the token afri-queer chic, or,a caricature on the vestibules of african civilization.

yet, i am so happy. and content. swimming with the abundance of love + friendship + simple delights of the heart. that i have been loved. experienced love in the crevisaces of despair and in the delicacy of a touch. that i can say, i am queer. { eccentric } and not feel shamefaced about it. or wish i were someone other than my natural self. i a woman, who delights in her woman-ness.

Where there is a woman there is magic. If there is a moon falling from her mouth, she is a woman who knows her magic, who can share or not share her powers. A woman with a moon falling from her mouth, roses between her legs and tiaras of Spanish moss, this woman is a consort of spirits.” - ntozake shange

several years ago, after a major breakup with a wonderful man, i cried in the arms of my mother. my face drenched in tears. my body quivering in spasms of unshed anguish. she looked at me. as i sobbed and proclaimed to her what a jackass he was. i could see her love in her eyes. six years before, she had laid to rest, the love of her life, my father. she understood heartache. my mother talked to me slowly. i did not understand it then. she spoke on the power of women. how as a woman, one holds infinite power and wisdom. she spoke on a woman knowing her majik. relishing on her warmth. casting spells of enchantment. she said, once a woman realises her potentiality { Etymology: Middle English potencial, from Late Latin potentialis, from potentia potentiality, from Latin, power, from potent-, potens 1 : existing in possibility : capable of development into actuality } she can soar like an eagle and her lover.. her lover would worship the very ground she walks on.

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.
My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies. - songs of solomon

needless, to say, the news was such a relief. and while we relenish on the possibilities that this will infact cast light on other matters across the border its a celebration of many sorts.

back on the home front. i'm really not surpised that most folks think this.