all our love

i so love this issue of essence magazine, especially now when im single, albeit dazzed and bewildered, and still, very, very hopeful.

please notice the key word: hopeful.

now we black women are never quite hopeful that our prince/ss will roll to oursyde and sweep us of our feet. & the most, we believe if we are lucky, there will be less or hardly much baby mama drama, an honest job & doesn't live with his mama.

i am not ashamed. i'm close to 29 and i'm yet to have a relationship that lasts for over a year. once the six month mark passed with obasuyi..shush..i became hopeful..maybe shit wasn't going to hit the fan..images of me rocking a rickedy arm chair, sipping herbal tea and a dog by my side was squashed away with me.& .babies/babies & more babies..ok. maybe not too many babies..but you get my drift..si.

month #9
& this image was no longer at ease..i feel like shit you know...i'm like whats wrong with me/them/the combination of me and them

( deep breathe )

may i live in safety/may i be happy/may i be
healthy/may i live in ease

he come today...[ journal entry 01/27/2005 ]

I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly between the shadow and the soul.
[ XVII - pablo neruda ...thanks baby gal ]


Love gives us flight to imagine the impossible. It's no wonder even in the bible when they list the three: faith, hope and love..the greatest of this is love..

i'm a woman, ..i am not a girl, i'm not a girl betwix a child..i'm as deep as the roots of a mugumo tree, my soul delves deep into the earth ..i'm a woman, a woman who desires

ever seen a well? its round..it has perforated edges..its dark and seems endless..thats how i am..my insydes & outsydes..my femininity is my essence..my legs bear warmness, my yoni: life..im dark..deep...with rugged edges

i've been told i intimidate men..i think too much..cry too easily..make love real loud..speak of the goddess with frequency..someone cannot quite place a finger about me.... a man will see me, & want to touch, an exhibit in glass..see whats inside, probe with his fingers into my soul, woo me with words that i've heard before, intersect my thoughts with his of prosperity, sex me in the hope i'll clasp my spirit into theirs & become only theirs....until they remember themselves..remember their wives...baby mamas...the secrets that were once dusty...i see men as themselves..