i saw her today wearing a shrug of (____)
oblivious to the look of dismay in my eyes.
not seeing i don't embrace her as before.
my heart no longer quickens.
my breath hardly gasps with her first glance.
i approach with caution.
i no longer want to outline her face.
casp her gentleness in my hands.
feel her quiver.
trace butterfly- traced tatto kisses on her belly.
hear her laugh echoing with life

that which was fireworks had smoldered to fizzles.

we have to consciously study how to be tender with each other
until it becomes a habit because that which was native has been
stolen from us, the love of black woman for each other. - audre lorde


i still desire to be like when we first met.
excited about being with each other,
near or far.
- journal entry 15 Jan 2003

i had missed myself laughing.

Not Altogether Lost

I know that this life, missing its ripeness in
love, is not altogether lost.

I know that the flowers that fade in the dawn,
the streams that strayed in the desert, are not
altogether lost.

I know that whatever lags behind, in this life
laden with slowness, is not altogether lost.

I know that my dreams that are still
unfulfilled, and my melodies still unstruck, are
clinging to Your lute strings, and they are not
altogether lost.

~Rabindranath Tagore~

(From: "The Heart of God" edited by Herbert F. Vetter)


i have been retracing my steps to delightful memories.
i was perusing through this
and i thought of getting this.
can't wait to get home and perhaps find this tacked safely in the mailbox (yeappy) - oh happy day.
right now, i cannot be at home because i'm stuck.
so i shall be contend instead in reading about her instead.

siku saba kutoka leo - seven days from now
cries of amani
< peace >
shall transverse through virtual reality courtesy of hardcore and serenity.