this is what i've been dreaming

marilyn salcido

this is what i've been dreaming about. besides of course, placing a hex on the ex factor. solving world peace. why the hell brown people are drowning and dying all over the world. making everyday a holiday of some sort. clean water for everybody. freedom from feeling icky about sex. missing my mother and brothers. wondering when i'll ever get on of those well fitting bras. experiencing deep aprehension when venturing into the mall. more orgasims.. oh did i mention that.. its a weird time..new orleans and whether i'll ever get a chance to go there. bananas. mangoes and.. well you get the idea..

truly though. im not sure whether this image of a girl wearing boxing gloves kicking some mad passion, stepping in rhythm pa-pa-pa-pa has turned me out like this. i reckon its with million dollar baby and kill bill. especially kill bill..it could be when i first glanced at Kameron's blog & i was blown away. its that whole combination..nah..synergy of strength and delicacy. the im a woman ( insert all adjectives that come with that) & if you mess with me..i'll ( insert a picture of a guy kicking your butt) perfect!

so, what did i do? i got a speed bag kit half put together next to the guitar which im yet, to learn to play...i digress.

i have for so long learnt and re-learnt to channel anything remotely unpleasent inward..hence depression.. suicide attempts..zipless fucks ( al erica jong). & as we all know.. things have a way of coming back.

all this is a process of getting my vocal cords back, or limbs, or fingers or feet..which ever comes first.. avoidance can go for so long.i cannot, i believe change the way partriarchy instigates how folk behave. its too much of a task. i cannot go around it & neither do i want to... i am responsible though, to how i respond to things. how i react to bigotry and discrimination. when the past is used as a tool to dismantle you or just, just because one has a cunt..