whose pussy is it anyway?

over the christmas break, my well meaning friend, R saw not only fit that i get a vibrator. ( like one above). the gift also come with several of R's friends showing me how it was down. deep throating, i mean.

this was all very new to me, sharing stuff that until then, i explored in the confines of a relationship without any call coaching or expertise training from outside sources.. the free-ness of sexual banter was refreshing in alot of ways, yet, i was deeply ashamed. of what, i can't quite place a finger to it considering not anyone was in proselyte mode. these men were phenominal. with absolutely no qualm or hesitation, opened my mind to an avenue i had yet to explore. they all took turns in demonstrating how they sucked, what techniques they used & most of all, how much pleasure they felt not only for their partners, but also the joy that comes in sharing.

it was like a passion party a la carte gay themed.

why was the idea of self gratification. self love. self masturbation so terrifying? why was the idea that the only situation, i would be in bliss would have to be in some form another person 'doing’ the penetration?these are questions that were churning through my head since i got the gift. & so, several nights ago, while all was quiet in the front, i went ahead and experienced a consummate orgasm in the hands of a pink neon colored vibrator and two AA batteries.

i felt like celie(color purple) all over again, discovering with glee in her eyes, the labyrinth 'down there'. until this encounter, i've seen toys as a sign of no return. it's like each toy has a sealed self stamped envelope of singleness and abject loneliness.

there is a lot of talk in regards to the sexual objectification of women in music, especially in hip-hop. Which leads me to the question, ‘whose pussy is it anyway?’

inasmuch as i filter what i hear and see, i still realize i harbor a lot of shyt when it comes to my pussy? i'm coming to see, as much as i engage in hetero/homo sexual loving, without the self-loving, its all useless.

i want to take my pussy back. i want to embrace my self in all my rugged terrain & overflowing wetness. i want to see myself and love the rubenesque shape & cellulite thighs. damn! i don't want the girl i will raise, as an aunt, friend, or mother, to think that their pussy, their womanhood isn't beautiful, glorious and precious.

i want to take my pussy back. with all the shame we are made to swallow when it comes to our menses.our goddess given natural cycle, connected to the changing tides of the moon.

i want to take my pussy back. everything i have yet to learn. everything that i know is instinctively good, gorgious and uplifting.mine to fuck or make sweet love to. mine to shy off any wanna be honey suckers, and invite the worshippers to the temple. mine to converse with on my way to work and whisper to when alone in bed. mine to serenade. mine to hold in contemplation. mine to adore.

self love pertains to embracing my pussy.

picture courtesy of here