Friday, June 11, 2004

last evening i had a verbal argument with my roomate. it all began with listening about him on this station.
actually thats not entirely true. that was the icing on the cake. it all began simmering after ln informed me that if she'd vote it would be him because of his values.

i was frozen for a minute. i couldn't help myself but think of ways by which this message of love was hikacked by folks who are not propelled by love. i was pissed. infuriated and rageful. rather un-christian like, i know. & i did meditate on it later on & apologised profusley afterwards.

i don't want to come from a place of anger, rather that of compassion. i know that we are all spiritual beings having a physical experience and i don't want to get too caught up in the physical-ness of things. i admit, it is a great, great challenge to be queer, ex- mistress, who is fornicating with the love of her life, non-christian & living in the same roof under constant judgement. & being reminded of the great commision. what's up with that.

once, in my teens, i was saved. it was a different kind of salvation.i liked the singing. detested the preached. teffied and immensly curious about the slaying of the spirit and speaking in tongues. adored the rosary and statue of mary. & wondered incesstantly what was really up with mary essense, i was looking for transcedental highs under the cloth of conformity.

so, i kinda know whats up with the spiritual quest. it's just that christians, or anyone else for that matter are not the only ones inhabiting the earth. & it pisses me off that there is this instance of righteousness that floats around.

phew! i had to say that.


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