being out means you are doing what your grandmother told you to do, which is not to lie. black lesbians and gays who are out are not lying. but we pay high prices for our integrity. people really need to understand that there is entrenched violence against lesbians and gay people that very much like and parallel to the racial violence that has characterized black people's lives since we have been in this country.everyone should have safety and freedom of choice. we have a right not to be intimidated in our homes or on the streets because we're black, or on welfare or gay.
jewelle gomez & barbara smith: taking the home out of of homophobia: black lesbian health.

while still relatively new in the usa, i had a conversation with an afri. american man who felt that it was detrimental for the race that his fellow sisters were vocal about being lesbians. he felt that was causing enough strive and division in the already fragmented community. he said there was need to show a united front in the face of hostile racial barriers. to sort of show boss man that the field negroes had their act together.

i find this ludicrous to say the least. it’s like we as people who are two spirited need to hide themselves. that we should be ashamed of our love and concern to each other. that we need not to uphold each other in love and prayers. is like matters of race are more imperative than those of love.

but, I somewhat understand where he and many other people are coming from especially the perceptions of in the life may mean. i think it is intimidating to many men that women can find comfort, security, support and sustenance with each other. that its not about missing dic. but about forging communities and new ways of being. its very disheartening to come to grips with the internalized homophobia in the hands of our own family.

what was heart rendering this week was watching the laramie project. like a ton of bricks I tell you. is still very hard for me to fathom violence emitted to specific groups of people especially in a country where the foundations of the country are build on the tenant of freedom. i still don’t get it. do you?